I Don't Get It

Obligatory NLCS Comment: After the first two slugfests, I'm fully expecting runs to be at a premium when things return to the normalcy of Busch Stadium for three games this week. I don't exactly know what happened to Miller Park this year, but I know that I'm not going to complain about a 12-3 outcome in favor of the Redbirds.

I found myself in a Target store on Saturday because I was in need of a new lamp. It used to be fairly common to find me on a weekend at a place that sells trading cards, but these trips have been pretty infrequent of late. I knew to look for Topps Update packs just because it feels like a requirement, and said cards were available in three different formats. My first opened pack ended up being a rack jumbo pack. I knew absolutely nothing about this product going in.

US226 - Steve Pearce (Yarr! It's a Pirate. Oh, don't worry, it's just Steve Pearce.)

US265 - Willie Harris

US212 - Pat Neshek

US284 - Laynce Nix (In a year when not a ton of big names changed teams during the season, you're going to end up with a lot of Nixes in a set like this.)

US73 - Juan Nicasio Rookie Debut

US136 - Brandon Crawford Rookie Debut (I don't remember if they had these Rookie Debut cards in last year's set. I want to say... yes?)

US164 - Hector Noesi

US251 - Justin Turner

US245 - Kevin Correia (There's been a trend of late for Topps to include wide-angle shots of pitchers in focus while their respective batter is blurry. I think these either work really well or look terrible, and there's not really any in-between.)

US66 - Andy Dirks Hope Diamond Anniversary 03/60 (I guess I realized this wasn't your ordinary bedazzled sparkly card when I saw that it had a blue tint. It's numbered, too, but not in the fun gold foil way.)

TTU-37 - Neil Walker Topps Town (Geez... more Pirates.)

US230 - Miguel Cabrera All-Star

US85 - Roy Halladay All-Star (We've come to the All-Star portion of the pack.)

US140 - Clayton Kershaw All-Star

US192 - Mike Moustakas

US43 - Carlos Quentin All-Star

US72 - Colby Rasmus (Ugh, this kind of makes my stomach turn.)

US162 - Troy Tulowitzki All-Star

US300 - Carl Crawford (Do you mean to tell me that Topps just now figured out that Crawford has a new team for 2011?)

US28 - Adam Kennedy

US87 - Clayton Mortensen (Former Cardinal.)

US214 - Matt Daley

US243 - Chris Denorfia (Nice throwbacks.)

US203 - Juan Nicasio (Same guy with two cards in the same pack.)

US24 - Rex Brothers

US263 - Chad Qualls

US308 - Kyle Seager

US197 - Brandon League (The Mariners are going to regret not trading their closer soon if they haven't already.)

US217 - Elliot Johnson Diamond Anniversary (This is your normal, garden variety bedazzled parallel.)

KC-135 - Carl Crawford Kimball Champions (My scanner still hates these cards. I think I am finally coming to a decision where I'm just going to let these cards go. I don't think I like them enough.)

634 - Mitch Moreland Cognac Diamond Anniversary ("Cognac" is one way to describe these. Another way is "vomit". Also, what the heck is with the card numbering? Perhaps I can put it a better way... why are these parallels of Series 1/2 cards suddenly showing up in the Update product? Is someone trying to make up for past perceived mistakes?)

T60-144 - Zach Britton Topps 60

US287 - Matt Joyce All-Star

US292 - Mike Adams

US50 - Jered Weaver All-Star

US268 - Yadier Molina All-Star (This is the reason this pack was pulled off the shelf and sent home with me. It's always good to start off on a high note, after all.)

So what is it that I don't get? I guess it's all of this sparkly nonsense. I pulled three of them in a $5 retail pack, so I can't imagine that they are worth anything.