Airbrushed Fridays: 1987 Topps #64

Food for thought: Lance Berkman has already surpassed his 2010 home run total after hitting his 15th of the season. He is 8th in MLB (4th in NL) in home runs, is 3rd in the NL in batting average and has an OPS of 1.070. Only Joey Votto and Jose Bautista have been more impressive at the plate so far this season, and I'm pretty sure Bautista has the teacher's edition to baseball in his locker somewhere because no one can have an OPS north of 1.200. That's insane.

Harry Spilman was a first baseman who at best was constantly on the wrong side of a platoon. At worst, Spilman was a pinch hit specialist with a career OPS of .654. With apologies to Mr. Spilman, who managed to log 12 seasons in the majors, you just don't see players like that in today's game.

Why did Topps airbrush Harry photo? Spilman was unceremoniously released by the Detroit Tigers in June of the 1986 season after they realized they had someone who averages about 60 at-bats a season and is not a pitcher taking up an active roster spot. He joined the Giants and instantly doubled his plate appearances.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? Some sort of optical illusion made it look like Spilman has an extra large cap with no bill, and so the artist adjusted accordingly by putting an absurdly large logo on it. This logo may or may not have inspired the "huge logo" futuristic craze of the late '90s as exemplified by MLB's most genius promotion ever, the Turn Ahead the Clock promotion. And here you thought that today's holiday caps were bad.

If you are interested in obtaining a card featured here, please send me an e-mail. If you have a card you would like to nominate for Airbrushed Fridays, please get in touch as well. I will require that I am able to see the card in person, either on loan or as a donation, so that I can examine the card and experience it in all its cruddiness.

Airbrushed Fridays: 1987 Topps #157

I have to confess that I was trying to come up with a good April Fools' joke today, but I never really got anywhere other than finding Derek Jeter in an Orioles uniform. With the Cardinals defensive meltdown on Day 1 of the season and Matt Holliday hospitalized with an emergency appendectomy surgery, it seems that this year the joke is on me. Still, it's great that baseball season is finally here and I've been enjoying every minute of my two vacation days.

Danny Darwin was a right-handed starting pitcher and occasional reliever, logging more than 3000 innings pitched in a 21 year career that included starts in almost half of the games he appeared. He pitched for 8 different franchises, including both Houston and Texas twice, and earned the nickname "Dr. Death" from then teammate Nolan Ryan due to his Chuck Norris-like reputation. In fact, taking another glance at his 1987 Topps photo, that could actually be Chuck Norris.

Why did Topps airbrush Danny's photo? Darwin was traded by the Brewers to Houston in August 1986 for the immortal Don August and nearly-immortal Mark Knudson. He did pitch in 12 games for the Astros that year, but I don't imagine Topps works on collecting photos for their cards past maybe the end of April in any given season.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? I wouldn't want to mess with Darwin, also known as "The Bonham Bullet" after his birthplace in Texas, so I probably shouldn't say anything. I shouldn't mention the odd 'H' logo on his cap or the fact that the cap itself is badly misshapen to make it look like his head is much larger in the front than the back. I also shouldn't mention how goofy the Astros rainbow stripes look on his shoulder. I won't be mentioning any of that. Darwin might kill me. Survival of the fittest, you know.

If you are interested in obtaining a card featured here, please send me an e-mail. If you have a card you would like to nominate for Airbrushed Fridays, please get in touch as well. I will require that I am able to see the card in person, either on loan or as a donation, so that I can examine the card and experience it in all its cruddiness.

Airbrushed Fridays: 1987 Topps #619

Does anyone miss plain ol' baseball cards? This one doesn't sparkle. There's no die cut. There's no diamond cut. There's no red diamonds here. No blue diamonds. No blood diamonds. No pie, no Abe, no fictitious Japanese characters...

It's still screwed up, though.

Jerry Reed was a right-handed relief pitcher who was in and out of four teams' lineups through the '80s. His best career stretch was a nearly five year stint with the Mariners, for which he appears here... kind of.

Why did Topps airbrush Jerry's photo? Even though Reed was acquired in April and did not pitch for Cleveland at all in 1986, Topps must have found him to be rather elusive as he only logged 11 appearances with Seattle that year. Maybe I need to stop making up excuses for Topps. There's really no good reason for them to botch this. If Reed was really that insigificant, they could have left him out of the set.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? The M's trident logo that they used up through 1987 is one of the more complicated ones. Let's put it this way: if I had to choose any logo to draw on a card, this would probably rank just ahead of the Trail Blazers pinwheel logo. In other words, it's very far down the list. I like how the middle and right arrows are essentially the same size, but the one on the left is barely even there. Jerry's got some wavy brush strokes on his jersey top that are more easily seen when holding the card in hand.

If you are interested in obtaining a card featured here, please send me an e-mail. If you have a card you would like to nominate for Airbrushed Fridays, please get in touch as well. I will require that I am able to see the card in person, either on loan or as a donation, so that I can examine the card and experience it in all its cruddiness.

Oops

Yikes! What did they do?

Ahh, okay, that's better. Wait... no it's not!

Ahh... well, I tried.

Airbrushed Fridays: 1987 Topps #383

Here's another one from reader Scott. At this point, people are going to start to wonder why he isn't on the Cards on Cards payroll. I've already got AJ doing banners for peanuts (er, spare Dodgers cards) and Erin as a consultant, after all.

Scott writes this about Ron Davis: "You can airbrush him into a different uniform, but you can't airbrush the stink of the 1986 season off of him." He then launched into a tirade about Ron's historically awful 1986 season that finally saw his exodus from the Minnesota Twins. He may not have been around for the Twins title season, but he still managed to get a contract nonetheless.

Why did Topps airbrush Ron's photo? Davis was acquired just six weeks prior to the end of the season, before what would now commonly be referred to as the non-waiver trading deadline. The former closer was traded in part for former Airbrushed Fridays subject Ray Fontenot and ex-Cardinal George Frazier.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? Well, aside from the fact that it shows a lousy reliever - er, make that a lousy Cub reliever - it looks like this card got the watercolor treatment something fierce.

(If you are interested in obtaining a card featured here, please send me an e-mail. If you have a card you would like to nominate for Airbrushed Fridays, please get in touch as well. I will require that I am able to see the card in person, either on loan or as a donation, so that I can examine the card and experience it in all its cruddiness.)

Airbrushed Fridays: 1987 Topps #101

Reader Scott has e-mailed me lately with some more suggestions for this feature. I'm starting to think I should just let him take over and write these things. Here's another one from the mailbag and it's a very familiar card to me. I was actually somewhat surprised that I had overlooked Mr. Willis so far. Another recommendation from Scott, incidentally, was Ray Fontenot from this very set. Fontenot was actually the first card I featured here. If I ever get access to a cheap commons box from the late '70s, I may have to actually consider picking up some material to have "in hand" for Airbrushed Fridays.

Carl Wills was a right-handed reliever and occasional spot starter who spent much of his career bouncing up and down between the majors and AAA. He finished off his career with more solid playing time with the Minnesota Twins throughout the first half of the '90s and even made a few appearances with my hometown Portland Beavers who were affiliated with the Twins at the time.

Why did Topps airbrush Carl's photo? Scott writes, "He was on the freakin' Reds at some point from 84-86, yet the airbrusher must have been drunk or huffed the fumes from the Laga airbrush." I couldn't have said it better myself. Willis was in the Reds organization from late in the 1984 season until January of 1988, only leaving for a few months in 1986 when he was a Rule V draft pick of the Angels. He was later returned.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? My own personal theory is that the Laga "artist" (can we come up with a better name for airbrushing wizards?) must have spilled something on Willis's picture that he had to clean up which resulted in this.

Thanks again to Scott and thanks for reading. Erin and I are still deliberating the results of last week's contest. Expect an announcement early next week.

(If you are interested in obtaining a card featured here, please send me an e-mail. If you have a card you would like to nominate for Airbrushed Fridays, please get in touch as well. I will require that I am able to see the card in person, either on loan or as a donation, so that I can examine the card and experience it in all its cruddiness.)

Airbrushed Fridays: 1987 Topps #221

While most collectors these days are going gaga for Stephen Strasburg, Series 2 Topps and spendy group breaks, I'm writing here today about a 23 year old card of a guy named Vern. The name Vern seems to have slipped in popularity these days. According to some website I just found about thirty seconds ago, Vern is the 659th most popular male name in the U.S.

Vern Ruhle was a right-handed swingman who spent most of his career with the Houston Astros. He logged 327 appearances in the big leagues, with a bit less than half of them coming out of the bullpen. Ruhle made three separate playoff appearances in three different seasons (1980, 1981 and 1986) before retiring during the 1987 season, which he spent in AAA.

Why did Topps airbrush Vern's photo? Ruhle was signed by the Angels as a free agent in June of 1986 while trying to make it back to the bigs after a short stint with an independent league team after a subpar 2-10 season the previous year with Cleveland. It just seems like Topps dropped the ball, as they had 16 game chances to capture Ruhle with his current team.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? The familiar 'A' logo on Vern's cap is too tall, too skinny and... well... fake. Someday... and I know this is impossible thinking... but I wish that Topps would release the actual photos they used for these cards so you could compare them to the "after" airbrushing photo used on the cards. That would be awesome.

(If you are interested in obtaining a card featured here, please send me an e-mail. If you have a card you would like to nominate for Airbrushed Fridays, please get in touch as well. I will require that I am able to see the card in person, either on loan or as a donation, so that I can examine the card and experience it in all its cruddiness.)

Airbrushed Fridays: 1987 Topps #207

As this has become known as the week of the Topps Million Card giveaway, I found the overall distribution results a bit interesting. I have yet to see anyone get a great vintage Cardinals card (or Ozzie Smith rookie) on any of the blogs that I frequent, but not everyone has been inundated with late '80s junk. Apparently you can get 2009 Topps cards in the redemption promotion, which just seems like a dirty trick since there are still plenty of stores out there with 2009 stuff on the shelves. Thanks to bdj610's Topps blog, I now know how you can even look up today's featured airbrushed card on the Topps giveaway site. If I run short on ideas, maybe I'll start browsing through their archives. I wouldn't even need to do a scan, come to think of it. Thanks, Topps!

George Frazier was a career reliever who primarily pitched in the '80s. He had the odd distinction of being a member of my top two favorite teams, my least favorite team (Cubs) and the team that defeated the Cards in the '87 World Series (Twins) before his career was through. He's now a TV broadcast announcer for the Rockies.

Why did Topps airbrush George's photo? Frazier was involved in a late-season trade in 1986 involving a bunch of players nobody's really heard of. See the transactions section on his B-R page for further details. Incidentally, 1987 would be his final season in the majors, giving no one an opportunity to airbrush another one of his photos.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? Although more subtle than most airbrushed cards I've featured here, this still has some of the telltale signs to go along with the late deadline Topps must have faced with his August trade. His cap changes colors from the top to the bill and the logos are okay but a little shaky, giving evidence of some added "handiwork". Some further, non-airbrush-related thoughts: Would this qualify as a "night card"? Is this a "dusk card"? A "sunset card"? And, George, what's up with those ripped sleeves?

Airbrushed Fridays: 1987 Topps #321

This card would make the list of 10 Airbrushed Cards You Should Own, were such a thing to exist. It's well known, but I'm completely burned out on baseball right now and decided to go with a Cardinals card and something easy today.

Mike Laga played nine MLB seasons and never once accrued more than 100 ABs in a year. He was a perennial September call-up, but that's about it. He also had a really terrible looking baseball card.

Why did Topps airbrush Mike's photo? Better question - why did Mike even have a baseball card? If it were up to me, you'd see the whole team's 25-man roster in each flagship set, but you don't see Mike Lagas in sets like this anymore.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? Just... look at it. You have an absurdly drawn cap, complete with crayon-drawn logo and the requisite haloing effect around the outside of it. Pink jersey. Pink! This was long before every team had their own line of "girl"-oriented pink clothing and ballcaps. It's like the "artist" was trying to remember if the Cardinals still wore baby blue road jerseys or if they had changed colors. And rather than bother to do any research or ask, like, somebody who actually appreciates baseball, they decide that their weekend is growing closer and closer and they'll just touch it up with whatever ink is leftover in the brush. Nevermind that the person who used it last was probably doing some work on some Strawberry Shortcake trading cards.

See, Topps, even Donruss got it right, and they were supposedly the inferior company at the time. They cared enough about the man who got 46 Cardinal ABs in 1986 to include him in their set in a proper warmup jersey.

As for me, I'm on an indefinite break from baseball right now. I can't remember the last time I was more disappointed in a Cardinals team than I am right now. Hopefully they'll turn it around, but they're running out of chances.

Airbrushed Fridays: 1987 Topps #124

I've been toying with this idea for awhile and have decided to give it a go. Much like these companies (okay, it's pretty much Topps) give the ol' thumbs-up to some astonishingly bad pieces of "artwork", I have decided to feature an airbrushed card weekly here on the blog. Nominations? Feedback? Suggestions? They're all welcome here.

Ray Fontenot was a former starter turned reliever who bounced around a bit in the mid-'80s. He had, in fact, thrown his final major league pitch by the time this baseball card came around. His Wikipedia entry photo even features another baseball card, which is kind of awesome and sad at the same time. He also looks a bit like a shop teacher and bears an uncanny resemblance to someone I know personally.

Why did Topps airbrush Ray's photo? Well, they certainly had their opportunities to catch Fontenot live and up-close, as he made 15 appearances with the Twins after an August 1986 trade. They must have been scared off by his ERA that was just a shade under 10.00, afraid a stray pitch might inadvertently veer off and nail a Topps photographer or high-priced camera.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? I suppose you could start with the fact that it looks like no one bothered to finish painting the Twins logo on his cap as it fades into oblivion somewhere near the end of the "T". It also appears that Ray is wearing a red, white and blue medal around his neck.

Random Old-School Post o' the Day

Just a quick update here from Cards on Cards central. Bob Brenly, Chicago Cubs color commentator, has many interests outside of baseball.


Who knew? This is hilarious. They may as well have written: "Bob extracts pleasure from college basketball."
"Bob has been known to enjoy a cheeseburger from time to time."
"Bob has two dozen pairs of socks."


Stickers are awesome. This is the lid (underside) of the first 3200 ct. box I ever owned, back before they came with separate lids. This lid is attached and folds over the top, with flaps that fit inside the box. You can see here what teams I was interested in back then.