Airbrushed Fridays: 1998-99 Topps Finest Basketball #236

Today's airbrushed victim is a strange case and a strange man. It's also my first, and probably last, non-baseball card to be featured here. If you haven't caught the news from ESPN yet in between mentions of the "Who Is Playing What Position?" 24-hour drama over in Boston, the NBA has locked out its players again. This is the honest-to-goodness last time I will mention the National Basketball Association until those morons come to their senses, or at least until David Stern finally gives up his mob rule over the league.

Gawen DeAngelo "Bonzi" Wells was, is, or theoretically could be an NBA shooting guard who spent 11 seasons in the league before being basically banished for being an intolerable headcase. Bonzi was acquired in what seemed to be a draft day steal for the Portland Trail Blazers from Detroit and had stretches of dominance in the Rose City before going nuts on coaches, fans and even a cop.

Why did Topps airbrush Bonzi's photo? I have no idea! Yes, this is his rookie card, but look at the back. It's a legitimate in-game NBA photo. Did they only have one to use? Did it occur to them to use it on the front of the card, the thing that most people care about? The mind boggles... like the game.

What's wrong with this picture, anyway? I guess I have the distinct advantage of having grown up with the Blazers in my daily life, but this is a no-brainer to me. The team name is not very well positioned and seems to be a bit on the short side, but the worst atrocity committed is that the stripes are out of order. That's supposed to be a red stripe on top of a black one, not the other way around! How does that even happen? Someone must have known what a clown Bonzi would become and decided to mess with him.

If you are interested in obtaining a card featured here - but not this one - please send me an e-mail. If you have a card you would like to nominate for Airbrushed Fridays, please get in touch as well. I will require that I am able to see the card in person, either on loan or as a donation, so that I can examine the card and experience it in all its cruddiness.

Token Bi-Weekly Blazers Post

Cards on Cards has a cold. Okay, maybe the blog can't actually get sick, but the author has a head cold that has been making him cranky and lethargic all weekend. Fortunately, he has been able to kick back and watch the Blazers home winning streak grow to 11.

Why am I talking in third person all of a sudden? Anyway, I took a week off... unintentionally, if you believe that... and Portland has picked up 5 wins in the last two weeks, so I get to scan 5 more cards. Unfortunately, only one of the victories was on the road as the Blazers have continued their trend of coming up just short against playoff-contending road teams (Houston, San Antonio, Denver) and beating up on virtually everyone in their path at home. Throw in a road whipping of the Timberwolves and you have a 5-3 record in the past two weeks.

Greg Oden continues to stay in street clothes due to knocking knees with someone right before the All-Star break. Conspiracy theories abound, ranging from the usual "the sky is falling" fears about Oden needing another major surgery to questions about his work ethic and desire to play basketball. It will be nice to see him get back on the court, whenever that may be, but I've always had the attitude that I would root for the players who are suited up and in uniform and not worry about anyone else.

Unfortunately, my attitude still leaves the Blazers thin in the middle when Joel Przybilla needs a rest.

About the cards:

• If we don't see a late '80s/early '90s throwback jersey night in the near future, I'm going to start freaking out and calling local sports talk shows or something. Well, not really. See Cliff Robinson's '90-'91 Fleer card above to see what I mean. It's the jerseys with the lower-case letters, before the block lettering took over in '91 or so.)
• The Clyde Drexler Upper Deck card appears to be the only duplicate card in the box that I bought. You'll get to see the card again, unless the Blazers fall short of 50 wins this season. That had better not happen, because it feels like it might take about 53 wins just to make the playoffs in the West this year, which is incredible.
  
• There's a nice shot of pre-goggles Buck Williams, courtesy of the second annual NBA Hoops set. I own the entire set. I am fairly certain that if you were to sell it on eBay, no one would bid on it simply because it's worth less than what it would cost to ship the thing.
• Purple basketball cards = bad idea. Just ask Jermaine O'Neal, who is on his second team of this season already (Miami) after spending his peak years at Indiana.
• Bonzi Wells has an incredibly extensive Wikipedia entry, which is a good read. Seriously. It reads like a VH-1 Behind the Music episode, only for NBA basketball players.
  

Bonus: Ha ha! There is no bonus this week! Maybe there will be two bonuses next week. Maybe not. The Blazers play the Lakers later tonight at the Rose Garden, which has been a building of total failure for LA in recent times. Let me just say that if Portland wins tonight, there will be... I don't know... three bonuses next week. Go Blazers!

Token Weekly Blazers Post: Halfway Home (Almost)

It's been another week in Blazerland, or Rip City as the people like to say. The Blazers finished off a 2-2 road trip with an overtime loss in Charlotte last night. I will keep my comments brief this week because I only was able to watch one of the four games due to work and life getting in the way.

The Blazers are at the 40 game mark of the season. With a win over Milwaukee at home tomorrow night, the Blazers will be on pace to win exactly 50 games this season, which is right where I expected them to be this year. There are some alarming things to note, however. First off, Steve Blake was injured in the 76ers game, Portland's worst loss of the season. He separated his shoulder, which has a 2-4 week recovery process. Secondly, the Blazers have a sub-.500 record against their own conference. No other team in playoff contention in the West can say that.

About the cards:

• "Uncle Cliffy"'s headband looks like it's about to slip down over his eyes at any moment. The graphic design on these '93-'94 Stadium Club cards look like they were at least partially inspired by In Living Color.
• It's too bad about Bonzi Wells. I saw him see some of his first meaningful action in an NBA game in person and from the very start it looked like the Blazers had flat out stolen him from Detroit, the team that drafted him. Maybe they somehow knew he'd eventually play a part in tearing the franchise down. Hey, maybe everyone really does hate the Blazers. Just ask the Memphis Grizzlies!
  

Bonus: Rod from Padrographs very generously sent me this sweet autographed rookie card of one of my all-time favorite Blazers, Arvydas Sabonis along with a stack of Cardinals cards. I'll feature the Cardinals cards in an upcoming post as there are some interesting goodies in there. [Edit: By the way, that is the New Orleans Hornets coach Byron Scott looking on in a Vancouver Grizzlies uniform as Sabas hits a layup. Just so you know...]

Congrats are due to Rudy Fernandez, as he won the fan voting and will be the fourth and final contestant in this year's NBA All-Star Slam Dunk contest. It'll be interesting to see what he comes up with. I wish I had a Rudy card. They really need to bring back Franz bread Blazers cards.