Threat Level Bone

Every four years during the Olympics, certain events unfold that make world wide news. The Olympics are also a breeding ground for terror plots and other suspicious activity. A reported 1.5 billion dollars is being spent on security for this Olympics alone. While years of planning goes into a event as big as this, I can only imagine there is one man who is right for the job.

Here are some of the more interesting story lines so far, and a wholly accurate assessment of each from a security perspective:

Usain Bolt Wins 100m Gold, Looks Set To Win 200m Gold, Can't Stop Talking About How Awesome He Is

THREAT LEVEL

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh-Whatever Successfully Defend Their Olympic Gold

THREAT LEVEL

Water Shortage at Olympic Games

THREAT LEVEL

Some Clown Chucks Bottle Right Before Start of Men's 100m Dash

THREAT LEVEL

(aka Thuggish Ruggish Bone)

This concludes your Olympic Threat Level Assessment, Jay Buhner Division. Jay Buhner is available for autographs, parties, dog shows, and wherever balloon animal ideas are being conceived. Heck, he's even available for some Olympic style childcare.