Friday, October 12, 2012

Gint-A-Bluffs 2012!


Welcome to this year's installment of everyone's favorite game, Gint-A-Bluffs! This year's entry was delayed by last year's point-shaving scandal (or was it doping violations?), so we submit this entry after the end of the regular baseball season. You won't need to know the infield fly rule here, but you will need a hilariously thick rulebook if you want to keep score at home!

Pack 1:
23 - Yogi Berra - +1 for having a ball in his hand. -3 for being in an AFLAC commercial.
10 - Dustin Pedroia - -1 for playing for the Red Sox. +3 for having to put up with Bobby Valentine for an entire season.
1 - Albert Pujols - -240 for every million dollars of his contract with the Angels

HTP5 - The Fall of the Berlin Wall Historical Turning Points - +5 for history. +5 for sticking it to communism!


227 - Michael Young Mini - +1 for being willing to change positions. x2 for being a mini.


WIN13 - Carl Crawford What's in a Name? -1 Red Sox. +3 Bobby V. +3 for the What's in a Name? insert. -2 for not having a crazy name.

Pack 2:

88 - Stan Musial - +77 for being a Cardinal! +25 for being The Man.
139 - Tim Hudson - -3 for being a whiny Brave. +1 for being an active player that's older than me.
130 - Madison Bumgarner


300 - Roberto Clemente - +5 for... do you have to ask?
190 - Addison Reed A&G Mini - -1 because I haven't heard of him. -3 because they got rid of the Ol' Planter guy on the backs of these cards. x2 Mini.


337 - Matt Holliday - +77 Cardinal. +2 for being an SP.

Pack 3:
30 - Carlos Zambrano - -10 for a lifetime achievement award. -2 for playing for a trainwreck of a franchise.
153 - Robinson Cano - +3 for... I don't know, he's good.


Jake Perry Murder in Willow Cove - -20 for being terrible. These cards are terrible.


105 - Arnold Palmer Mini - -5 for who cares about golf? +2 for Arnold Palmer the drink, which actually sounds like it might be tasty. x2 Mini.
WIN6 - Ryan Braun What's in a Name? - +3 for What's in a Name? -2 for not having a crazy name. -10 for being a cheating doping cheater doper. +4 for defeating Bud Selig somehow.
- Stupid Ugly Code Cracking Jerk card - -12 for being a stupid ugly code cracking jerk who is sweaty and probably has coffee stains all over his shirt.

Pack 4:
71 - Curtis Granderson - +3 for being a likeable Yankee.
270 - Anthony Rizzo - -12 for being a stinking rotten Cub.
15 - Joel Hanrahan - +2 for putting on a Pirates uniform every day somehow.
92 - Craig Kimbrel - -2 whiny Brave. +5 for blowing it last year and helping the Cardinals into the playoffs.


3 - Miguel Cabrera Mini - +777 for Triple Crown, suckas! x2 Mini.
323 - Ryan Roberts - +2 SP.

Pack 5:
156 - Trevor Cahill


128 - Andrew McCutchen - +2 Pirates


188 - Tom Milone - +5 for being one of the A's five rookie rotation pitchers. Also, screw you, Tigers.


WTB2 - Taipei 101 World's Tallest Buildings - +6 for being tall.


MM-16 - Gustav Mahler Musical Masters - +12 for being a master of tunes.
WIN77 - David Price What's in a Name? - +3 for What's in a Name? -2 boring name.

Pack 6:
67 - Desmond Jennings
178 - Wei-Yin Chen
218 - John Danks


134 - David Freese - +77 Cardinal. +11 for being a World Series Hero!
168 - Jason Kipnis - x2 Mini.
350 - Howie Kendrick - +2 SP.

Pack 7:

137 - George Brett - -10 for the Pine Tar Incident.
14 - Nick Markakis
158 - Melky Cabrera - -10 for being a cheating doping cheater doper.


BH-15 - Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball Highlight Sketches - -5 I still don't like these sketch cards.
322 - Sergio Santos Mini - +2 SP. x2 Mini.
WIN88 - Alex Gordon What's in a Name? - +3 What's in a Name? -2 boring name.

Pack 8:
157 - Roger Federer - -3 for being boring tennis.
43 - Josh Johnson - -2 trainwreck.
69 - Kurt Suzuki
216 - Corey Hart


ML-8 - George Washington World's Greatest Military Leaders - +20 for being on the dollas that make you holla.
347 - Matt Garza - -12 Cub. +2 SP.

Well... so that's... that. Let's tally this thing up and see if I won.

1553 points! Take that, every other scoring system ever!

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